The Ultimate Dating Strategies

Simon Samuels
5 min readApr 24, 2021


René Ranisch @ Unsplash

Failing at dating? I’m here to help you not fail with some of the ultimate dating strategies to help you find the perfect partner for you.

The build a web, draw them in and catch them strategy

When dating you can either attract people to you, or try to attract other people. It’s the difference between waiting for your date to come to you, and chasing them. This first strategy is all about drawing dates to you.

People are drawn romantically to those who have some similar passions. If you are into keeping fit then be dedicated and passionate about it. If you’re into movies, or music, or writing, then be passionate about it. Whatever you are into be passionate about it. Be active with the things that matter to you.

When you have things that you care about in your life then you’re naturally going to attract people with similar interests who will be drawn to you and want to date you. Being passionate about anything is attractive, so is working hard on the things you love.

Show the world what you love, and they will love you right back. You’ll naturally attract potential partners in the process.

The attributes strategy

Deciding what you actually want in a future partner is half the battle. Make a big list of all of the attributes you’d want to see in your ideal future partner. Then choose 3 attributes that your future partner must have and base your search around them. Choosing 3 attributes to look for in a future partner helps to keep the process as simple as possible and makes it easier to rank dates.

The key to this is to date many people and see which ones most closely fit your desired attributes. Cast a wide net. This strategy allows you to discard dates that aren’t right for you quickly. While helping you choose the most compatible ones for you.

If you’re using online dating websites or apps then you can search based on some of your desired attributes which makes the process even faster.

The open book strategy

One of the most common reasons why finding the one for you can be difficult is that everyone is putting their best face on during dates. I recommend that you don’t. The open book strategy is one of the best ways to quickly tell if someone is right for you. It involves being very open about who you are and what you want in life. By doing this you’ll instantly remove dates that aren’t right for you while having the advantage of drawing in the dates who really like you.

If you try to be someone you are not, or cover up parts of you, then it’ll just be a waste of your time and your date’s. Taking the chance to be vulnerable can be the difference between finding the right partner for you and not.

The ask and you shall get strategy

Express what you want all of the time and it opens up many opportunities. Tell your friends you’re looking for love, tell your colleagues, tell random strangers. You’ll be surprised at what can happen.

Being open with the world allows life the opportunity to give you what you want.

You might be thinking that it’ll make you look desperate to be talking about how you want a partner with everyone around you. I’m here to say we need to rethink love in society. It should be normal to be able to say I’m looking for someone. If anyone has a problem with you expressing your wish for love then they don’t deserve a place in your life.

The people who fail to find a good partner are those who don’t try and who don’t open themselves up. Be open and you will give life the opportunity to reward you with a fantastic partner.

The high maintenance strategy

This is a strategy that walks a fine line so be careful if you decide to try this one as it could put off some good potential future partners depending on how you implement it.

The high maintenance strategy involves expecting exactly what you want 100% of the time when dating and then discarding anyone who doesn’t give you what you want. By being demanding about your needs at first then you can see which dates would make good potential partners as the ones who stick about are willing to meet your needs. In a relationship this is useful to know as all relationships have rough patches and difficult moments. Choosing a partner who is willing to do the work and stick it out when things aren’t easy is a good indication that your future relationship will last.

If you’re looking for marriage and a family you can take this even further by dating several people at the same time. Make it known that you won’t go exclusive with someone until they are ready to commit to you. This way you’ll weed out the people who aren’t willing to commit to you very quickly. If you’re looking for marriage and to have a family fairly fast this might be the right strategy for you.

The seduction strategy

The last of my dating strategies is to learn how to be naturally seductive in your day to day life. It’s dressing well, wearing the right perfumes/cologne, being flirtatious within limits, and using your natural talents (if you’re naturally funny use your humour, if you are skilled at things then use your skills!)

Anyone can be seductive. You just need to make the effort and work on it. Being seductive in your day to day life will have people naturally drawn to you and want to date you. It also helps when on dates too.

The downside to this strategy is that you might draw the attention of the wrong type of people who you don’t want to date. The upside is that when you do meet someone you hit it off with then you’ll have the skills and confidence to enter into a loving and passionate relationship together. The seduction strategy really at its heart is a way to boost your confidence, and the confident are always winners at the dating game.

Find your strategy

Everyone has their own needs and desires when it comes to dating. Some of the dating strategies I’ve just outlined might or might not be right for your own personality and needs. The key to dating is to try a few things out and to see what works for you. Dating should be fun but also you need a strategy that works for you otherwise you’re leaving yourself up to the mercy of your dates, and believe me you don’t want that.

Take control of your dating and you’ll get the perfect partner for you I can guarantee it. If you only take one thing from this article then make it this: You can control your future happiness, you can take control of your dating, and by doing so you can find your perfect partner.



Simon Samuels

Relationship Researcher & Coach: Creating Healthy Relationships @